Moderation, similarity and facilitation in marriage
Question:
When someone proposes to the daughter of a pious man, he exaggerates and sets lots of conditions and demands as other people do. Please give advice to all.
The answer:
Mother sometimes controls things and father just returns things to her. Sometimes mother just looks for appearance boast and pride. Sometimes people want to take the daughter of a good man for nothing while they don’t agree to do this to their own daughters. A young man sometimes has an apartment but he has no job or so and so. We say there should be moderation, similarity and facilitation.
A woman said: "If we agree to facilitations, one day he will say to her: "I married you with nothing because you are defective." So we don’t facilitate but we get severe and strict.
The answer: I repeat again and again that we treat Allah not people, it is not the matter of traditions, appearance or boasting, but the success of a marriage depends on following the instructions of Sharia and the orders of Sunna of the prophet ( P.B.U.H) and it concentrates on moderation on costs taking into consideration the social level and facilitation without excess or negligence.
For example, today, there is a bedroom for ten thousand pounds and another with two thousand pounds and there is a Chinese kit for five thousand and another for five hundred pounds, here we should buy moderate things. I think this is clear. We don't forget that the man should have a job or an income to spend on his family, let's take on example from the tolerant prophetic era:
The Messenger of Allah (P.B.U.H) married his daughter Fatima to whom? Though rich people proposed to marry her, he married her to the poor man Ali Ibn Abi-Talib. Her dowry was one gram of gold and her bed was mattress stuffed with fiber covered with a wrap used partially as a sheet and as a quilt at the same time. This was furniture of the bride, the daughter of the Prophet (P.B.U.H), and it was a blessed marriage and all people at this era were the same.
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