Question:
How can I continue in my marriage while love between us has turned to be hatred? I need someone loves and be passionate to me as now we have children and I get tired taking care of them?
The answer:
Sisters, suppose with the developments of life love, cordiality and compassion fled from our lives, suppose the wife hated her husband, as the question says, does she have the right to know another one for love and lives with her husband for the interest, as people do in the western world now?
That is not permissible in Islam. First: she should be patient about God's will, and she will soon get unprecedented rewards. I remind her and you all of what the Prophet said in the Hadith to both husband and wife if they have more problems and each one only sees the bad side of the other, he said:
"A male believer (husband) should not hate a female believer (wife), if he hated one of her habits, he is pleased by another."
God says:
"(You men) Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them it may be that you dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. "Surat Annesa 'verse 19.
Now, if there has been acrimony and hatred replaced love as she said, she should know that her husband is suffering like her, even if she sees him does not care about it. In fact, both of them need the other, and today, after long life between them and children, they need each other more and success reasons exist between them, but they should understand that they both are responsible for that, and they both have to solve all problems not anyone else and not only one of them. If we investigate the matter, we will see that both of them are responsible for the hatred. If the wife has repaired herself and the husband does the same, the relationship will be good again. They must act together but the nature of human beings that no one wants to show that he is wrong. She wants to prove that he was wrong, and he wants to prove that she was wrong, this leads to dispute.
But if we sit together and follow the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His messenger, and we know the duty of everyone towards the other and how to deal properly with each other and that we both were wrong and then accept each other's apology, we should both take covenant to keep to these rights and care about these duties and everyone cares about the other's feelings and sensations same as he requires for himself.
If we do that life between us will return again God's willing. Love and compassion bird will come back flapping its wings again by the blessing of the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His beloved (Blessing
and peace of God be upon him).
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